Sunday, January 25, 2009
No Solid Link Between Financial Woes and Divorce
I came across this story in the Boston Globe that contradicts the traditional logic that finances are the root of most divorces in the United States.
I found the couples in the story to be quite interesting, mostly because Angela and I come from diverse financial philosophies. I can't say diverse financial backgrounds, because both of our families have known hardship. I remember living in a trailer early in my life, while Angela's family was technically homeless for a period. However, our parents have different attitudes toward money. And if my parents would be called "tight" with money, then I would be called "supertight." Laugh if you must, but I will literally study every can of green beans at Food City, comparing the price per ounce, ingredients, etc., for minutes until I finally make a decision. When you add in the amount of time that it takes me to clip and categorize coupons every Sunday (which I usually do with football or golf on in the background), it is apparent that I spend quite a bit of time on being thrifty.
How Angela and I get along so well is that we communicate over every decision - and I mean every decision - that involves money. We've lightened up over the years on things like lunches (especially since we are both on the road nearly every day in different counties), but we still discuss just about every other purchase that we make. This seems to cut down on disagreements that lead to fights.
So what's my point? I completely agree with the piece in the Globe. Money is a scapegoat, camouflage for other problems in a marriage like failure to communicate, failure to synchronize goals, or being unequally yoked. Marriages end because of many reasons - from jealousy to selfishness to psychological problems - but I don't think that money in itself is one of those reasons.
I found the couples in the story to be quite interesting, mostly because Angela and I come from diverse financial philosophies. I can't say diverse financial backgrounds, because both of our families have known hardship. I remember living in a trailer early in my life, while Angela's family was technically homeless for a period. However, our parents have different attitudes toward money. And if my parents would be called "tight" with money, then I would be called "supertight." Laugh if you must, but I will literally study every can of green beans at Food City, comparing the price per ounce, ingredients, etc., for minutes until I finally make a decision. When you add in the amount of time that it takes me to clip and categorize coupons every Sunday (which I usually do with football or golf on in the background), it is apparent that I spend quite a bit of time on being thrifty.
How Angela and I get along so well is that we communicate over every decision - and I mean every decision - that involves money. We've lightened up over the years on things like lunches (especially since we are both on the road nearly every day in different counties), but we still discuss just about every other purchase that we make. This seems to cut down on disagreements that lead to fights.
So what's my point? I completely agree with the piece in the Globe. Money is a scapegoat, camouflage for other problems in a marriage like failure to communicate, failure to synchronize goals, or being unequally yoked. Marriages end because of many reasons - from jealousy to selfishness to psychological problems - but I don't think that money in itself is one of those reasons.
Permalink posted by Rob Huddleston @ 11:53 PM 
